Well, you (Zakk) asked and so here it is. This was harder to do than I imagined. First of all, all the times were approximate. I did not come and write down everything I did and eventually I gave up writing it all down, not every single nuance of the day is recorded. This was also the WORST day of my week I considered redoing this and picking  a better day. But I want to be honest, real and in the spirit of being more vulnerable, I want to share it.

It was stressful and I didn’t handle everything well. As I was look back over it, I’m like oh boy, I can’t wait for the perfect parent to read this and judge me for letting my kid have screen time or for not forcing them to eat the dinner I made. Also we ate dinner in front of the TV this night, you’ll understand why when you get to that point..  So if you’re a perfect parent, we probably shouldn’t even be friends (my kids love “screen time” and love “the girl with the read hair” aka Wendy’s).

12:30 AM-I think I finally fell asleep.
2 times throughout the night (I think, maybe more?) Alexandria woke to nurse.

6:55 am- My alarm goes off. I come downstairs and throw some breakfast sausage on the cast iron to start cooking for Henry, I grab him a plate, open a yogurt, shell some pistachios, pour some milk. I run upstairs and carry him and his clothes downstairs. I help him get dressed (he’s not a morning person), I turn the sausages, he gets his shoes on, I do his hair, he sits at the table and stares into space. I ask him to take a bite at least 500 times. I get his sausages on his plate and continue to ask him to eat so he doesn’t starve all day. He eats at a snail’s pace. I make coffee and talk to him.

7:20 am- We leave for school, we say morning prayers and he asks me what the red arm on the speedometer does, so we talk about speed limits and why they’re important.

7:35- I get back and both girls are both awake. Josh gets ready for work,leaves and I make them breakfast.

7:45- I turn PBS on, get some coffee and sit down with a book for my “spiritually” focused time. I immediately stop because I realize I didn’t get dinner in the crock pot. I get up, do that. Today it was Cheesy Chicken Rice+broccoli . After that, I sit back down for my quiet time.

8:30-We turn the “Trolls” music station on Pandora any have a dance party.

8:45-I realize I haven’t eaten, I grab my overnight oats and eat (feed Alexandria my oats)

9:00- We read 500 books.

9:30- We play family. I’m the baby and Peyton is the mommy. I get to “take a nap” and be read to. I remember that being a kid is the best.

10:15- I put 2 baskets of laundry away.

10:30- I help Peyton practice writing her name.

11:00- I make an early lunch for P and A because A is very tired and ready for a nap. I set up some quiet time activities for Peyton to do while Alexandria naps (Kinetic sand, coloring, etc).

11:10-I try to convince Alexandria to eat, she doesn’t want to.

(this is when I stopped keeping track of time, the rest are approximate times).

11:45?-I take Alexandria upstairs to nap. She nurses and falls asleep. I come downstairs and  sort/fold a bunch of laundry while listening to an audio book (The Tattooist of Auschwitz). I clear the table off, look through some paper work, organize the entertainment center, run some more laundry. Peyton is still playing quietly so I piddle around the house, organizing things. Do some texting and planning about some things at church with the religious ed director, texted with another friend about how I fail at some things (true story, I’m not perfect) but how I’m really recognizing those moments and striving to be better. She (APRIL!) was so supportive and offered some helpful advice, as usual.

At some point Alexandria woke up.

2:30ish-Henry gets off the bus. I let him watch some PBS. They all have a snack around this time.

3:00- I work on homework with Henry. We talk about some things, I don’t handle this in-depth convo well, his feelings are hurt in it and so we have 2nd conversation where I am a much better parent. This is a long story I don’t want to go into. Parenting is hard sometimes. I’m seriously so thankful he’s a kid with a big heart. This left me feeling pretty emotionally depleted, and basically like a failure.

3:30-We all get ready to leave for the indoor playground. I’m sure I asked them to get their shoes on 500 times.

4:00- We leave for the playground, rocking to Veggie Tails along the way.

4:15- We arrive, the kids all go play.

4:30- A big kid barrels into Alexandria knocking her back hard, she hits the back of her head on the floor and bawls. I hold her for a good 20 minutes (slightly worried about her head). This kid/his mom/baby sitter? never comes to ask if the baby he just plowed through is okay (this really bothers me at the time)….however, she seems to be just fine, acts normal, but doesn’t want to go play.

4:45-One of my children has a small accident, because they waited a wee too long to go potty. Unfortunately I have no change of clothes for them and so I let them know we will have to leave. They are upset because they’re not ready to leave. As we are walking back into the play area, I open the door and Peyton’s toe gets caught under the door and rips a nice hole in her toe which immediately starts bleeding. She’s in a significant amount of pain, I’m holding the baby and trying to help blood not drip on the floor, looking for Henry who has run off to play. The lady working, helps get me some things and gets Henry who has run off in the play area. Henry gathers all of our things, Peyton cries, Alexandria has run off to climb on top of a table. It was chaotic, stressful. I did manage to keep it together and comfort Peyton. We eventually leave, I carry both girls out to the car, good thing I’ve been working out, (I am still winded though) and we head home.

5:15- I call Josh on the way home and let him know (while in tears) that Peyton’s toe looks pretty unfun and he should probably come home to help me determine if she needs,  to go somewhere to have it checked out. I hold Peyton’s hand the whole way home and tell her she can pick a movie out (she picks Big Hero 6) when we get home.

5:30- We get home, Josh gets home shortly after. We get everyone on the couch, we are examining Peyton’s toe, I’m pretty much done emotionally and it’s showing . Josh and I are both short with each other, Peyton cries off and on because she just wants a bandaid on. I talk to the doctor and a friend who recently went through a broken toe with her daughter.  We all determine Peyton should be fine that night, get her all taken care of and decide to reassess later (Update: her toe is fine and shes able to wear a shoe and walk).

5:45-6- Josh and I finish up making dinner, we cuddle Peyton on the couch, try to convince the kids to eat dinner. I ended up making Peyton peanut butter and jelly (+ applesauce), she’s overtired and hurt, I just want her to have something in her tummy before bed. We cuddle on the couch until the movie is over.

7:30-We all go upstairs to get them ready for bed.

7:40- I head out to the gym while Josh finishes bedtime routine. I do an arm workout that leaves me sore for 2 days (at least) and do 30 minutes of cardio, hoping it will help me release some stress from the day.

9:00- The cardio didn’t help. I get home and cry. Then I shower, I go in and kiss a sleeping Henry and Peyton, I sing from one of their favorite books, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be,”  and get Alexandria to bed. My mind races, my heart is sad. I try to read but I can’t focus. I try to pray but I can’t focus. I go over the whole day and how I failed my 3 sweet little gifts and my 1 big gift (even though a lot of it was out of my control). I think about how short I was with Josh, how I lost my temper with him. I basically just beat myself up for an hour.

10/11:00 (idk when)-I come downstairs, Josh has fallen asleep on the couch, but Henry comes downstairs and asks for a cuddle, so he heads up.  I get my prayer journal out. I write down every single thing that happened, that’s upsetting me, all the things I did wrong, everything I learned and how I can do better the next day. I finish a bag of popcorn while I’m doing this because duh, stress eating. I think about how tomorrow I can do a lot of things better and that I will do them better ( and I do. The day is full of almost all good things).  I ask Jesus for Mercy.

Eventually I get to sleep around midnight?

I wake up to a new day.